I Get to Eat Cat Food! The Doctor Said So.

I told you all last time that I got sick and had to go to the doctor. And when I got there and they weighed me, they found out I was losing weight that wasn’t on purpose. I was holding steady at around 134 pounds before this.

I even showed you this picture of me in the same frame as a delivery truck, NOT barking at it. It was very sad. And now that I am feeling better, I am disappointed in myself. But I made up for it this morning by barking at our Chewy delivery, so all is not lost.

I can’t believe I let this one get away without a bark!

Let me tell you more about the hospital. It was terrible. They were very nice to me, but it was still awful. I slipped and fell because I was so weak and twisted my leg, too, so I had trouble walking. And I had to wear a cone. I lick my front arms a lot and they said I would have accidentally licked out the IV. Cones are terrible. Even the soft ones. Don’t ever let them put a cone on you if you go to the hospital.

I had to stay in the hospital for two whole days. I was very upset. But Mom came to visit me every day. And then they finally took off that embarrassing cone so I could go home with her. I’m telling you, don’t ever let them cone you!

I was still very weak, and Mom had to practically carry me. It made it very hard to go to the potty, and Mom and I struggled that first night home. I weigh almost as much as she does.

But Mom is smart, and the next morning, a rear lift harness was delivered for me to make it easier to walk. Mom had ordered it while I was in the hospital because she knew I would have some trouble when I got home.

I quit eating too. That was the worst part. Food just didn’t taste good. And you know how much I love food. But I turned down everything. Even people food and cat food.

Mom had to shoot liquid supplements in my mouth. Mom was mean. She made me take them even though I didn’t want them. Those syringes are the worst thing ever invented. Mom gave me Doggie Ensure, a calorie supplement that was yucky sweet and vanilla-y, goat’s milk, and bone broth. Not all at once. She would give me a little bit at a time all day long, bothering me when I was so sick and just wanted to sleep. Everybody was trying to get me to eat. Irony at its finest. For the past two years, they have all been depriving me of food on this ‘diet’ thing. That first picture down there is at Muddy Paws because Melissa tried to feed me too. It was the only place I would eat for a few days. Mom took me up every day because I nibbled a little bit of Melissa’s good doggie treats. She sells the best and, even though I was sick, I couldn’t resist tasting them.

Mom also stuck needles in my scruff and “filled my camel hump” as she called it. She said this was keeping me hydrated and that I will have to have “sub-cute fluids” for the rest of my life. That’s a terrible name for them. It makes perfect sense because I am very cute and it goes under my skin. But they should call them “owie water” or something. It would be more honest and you would know it isn’t something fun. It makes me very cold even though Mom hangs the bags of water over the heater vent first.

But most importantly, out of all of this came a Doctor’s Edict that cannot be disputed. You see, when I finally felt like eating again, Mom just happened to put a dish of the cats’ leftover food under my nose, in desperation to get me to eat something, and I immediately grabbed one of the cat food flavors. She handed me more, and I picked that flavor off every one of the dishes. It is my favorite. So Mom opened a whole can of it, just for me, and I gobbled it up.

She asked my vet, and he pronounced that I am now allowed to eat cat food if I so choose because it is better than eating nothing. HA! I won. I get to eat cat food now. And Mom said she is going to go to the store and buy me a whole case of the big cans so I get enough to eat.

I’ve started eating other stuff too. It isn’t good for you to have only one thing. You need all different kinds of vitamins and have to eat healthy. But still, HA. I get to eat cat food any time I want. I was 111 pounds at my lowest and am now back up to 114-the scale was fluctuating between 113.8 and 114 when Mom snapped the picture. Mom is calling it 114 because the woman wants me to weigh more now. She’s just never happy! But I get to eat cat food. So I am happy.


I’m Writing from the Hospital Cage

I am not feeling well. You wouldn’t know it to look at me because, outwardly, I am still my happy, lovable self.

Mom knew, though. She tool me to the vet because she said I was acting “off.” She said she knew for sure when I didn’t go crazy and bark at the Fed Ex truck. Ok, so she’s right. But it was only Fed Ex. It wasn’t like it was my arch-nemesis, the UPS truck. Fed Ex brings my Chewy orders, so sometimes they are ok.

You’ll never see it again, so there it is. Me NOT barking at the Fed Ex truck.

Mom was right to take me to the vet. She had been worrying about me looking skinny since the recall on the kidney disease food that she was feeding me.

I have lost another ten pounds.

And look at me, I am skinny now. Getting sick was NOT how I wanted to go about it. But here I am, and I have to make the best of it.

When making the best of something, sometimes it is a good idea to make a list of good things about it. I’m going to try that.

So I’m in a cage, but I have a mattress so it is a nice soft cage.
I fell and hurt myself at my regular vet’s so my hindquarters are very sore, but since I’m staying here I get the good drugs.
The vet techs are very nice. One of them even let me use a computer so I could tell all of you about my stay. Mom didn’t pack my laptop in my suitcase. Do you believe she forgot to pack my laptop? I’m a writer! How could she forget that?

It sucks being here though. Mom isn’t here. She had to go home to feed the cats, so I’m stuck here all by myself with a needle in my arm. My kidneys hurt and they aren’t doing very well.

See those arrows on my bloodtests? That means those levels weren’t able to be read by the machine. The top two are my kidney measurements and the one in the next section of blocks is my liver. We are hoping my hospital stay brings those kidney value numbers back into the readable range.

I really want to get better so I have to be a good patient and take a nap, but I want to show you one more picture first. This is me and Mom when she brought me to the veterinary hospital. We love each other and I miss her.

Oh, no. My food is bad.

When I got sick with that kidney infection, Mom listened to the vet and added this into my meal rotation because my blood test showed the beginnings of chronic kidney failure. I didn’t mind. It is a nice stew and tastes good. I ate it all, every time Mom fed it to me.

Mom is freaking out now because she gave it to me. But she listened to the vet! He said it was ok. In fact, he said it was better for me than the food I was eating all the time.

Mom wouldn’t feed it to me for every meal though. She said she doesn’t eat the same thing for every meal and probably neither does the vet. So she didn’t think I should have to either. She found another brand designed for kidney problems at Muddy Paws (see my interview with Snicker) and just added those two brands to my current canned food rotation. She said she was balancing my fat with my new health issues. I am not fat!


Speaking of fat, do I look thinner to you? Mom says I look thinner. Normally she is happy about that, but not this time. I’m sure I look great, I always have. But Mom thinks it is a symptom. She is hoping that I wasn’t too badly affected by what was wrong with the food because it was only part of my diet. She feels very bad for all the doggies out there who ate only the food that was recalled. I know I ate at least a whole case of it.

That’s all that’s left. The numbers on the plastic case wrapping. Mom was just about to call the vet to order another case when she found out about the recall. Here is the link, in case you or someone you love was one of those other doggies who ate this stuff: https://www.hillspet.com/productlist

Mom grumbles that I already have renal dysfunction, and that’s why I had to eat that food in the first place. It was supposed to be specifically made to help with that and it turned out to be causing more problems. I have been drinking more water lately.

And there have been times in the last few weeks that I haven’t cleaned my plate. Mom mixes my food, she puts the canned food on top of my kibble. But my kibble is too dry and I’ve been thirstier so I have left my kibble. I never leave food so Mom knew something was wrong. She just didn’t know what and neither did I because the canned food didn’t taste bad.

Are you sure I don’t look thinner? Mom is worried. I’m afraid she is going to start measuring my waist. She’s crazy enough!

I think I’ll be ok though. Mom is going to get me another checkup blood test soon. Oh no. Needles. But I’ll get a pretty bandage on my arm like I did last time. My vet has pretty bandages! See…

Winter Dieting

It’s that time of year again, the time when all you want to do is eat a lot and pack on your winter fat…

Photo by Mark Basarab on Unsplash

And curl up in your bed and hibernate until spring. Bears do it! Why can’t I?

This bear…

Photo by Joshua J. Cotten on Unsplash

Not this bear. He’s lying in the snow! He’s crazy…

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

But I am not a bear, I am a dog. And so I have to deal with the winter weather.
Where I live, it cannot decide whether it wants to be cold or warm, but it knows it wants to be wet. A few days ago, it rained. All day. I hate getting wet! I refused to come off the porch to go for my walks because I hate getting wet.The next day, all the rain had turned to snow, like the stuff that crazy polar bear up there is lying in. You shouldn’t lie down in the snow. It’s too cold for that. But the sun was shining and that meant it was ok to go for a walk because I wouldn’t get wet. Did I mention I hate getting wet?

This time Mom refused to come off the porch. Haha, not really. She grumbled about it though. It was bitterly cold and she hurried me along when we went out and we didn’t go as far for our walk as we usually do.

Mom is concerned now, because it’s winter and she is afraid I won’t get as much exercise as I do in the summer. We do like to hide in the house in the winter. We still go places though, so I do get out. We stayed at a hotel for New Year’s because Mom went to a party. I like parties. There’s FOOD!

This is me kissing Mom while she and her friends were pre-drinking before she went out. She brought me back food too! A hot dog and pierogi. We edited this and have no idea why it is upside down. Probably because Mom was drunk when she took it.

About a week later, Mom and I went out for ice cream!

I was shocked that Mom allowed this, but that didn’t stop me from eating it!

Mom is worrying that I will gain back some of the weight I have lost so she is being extra nice and buying me more toys so that I get some exercise inside the house. I like toys and Mom says any exercise counts. Even just a few minutes of shaking my toy around before flopping down on a blanket beside it.

But it isn’t raining and I won’t get wet so “C’mon Mom! I want to go outside for a walk! I don’t care that it’s 19 degrees.”

I wanna GO!

RIP Zeus

Zeus cat napping on his favorite scratcher

My food bowl has more food in it at suppertime than it did a few days ago. It’s only about a teaspoon more, but I notice. Our housemate, Zeus, died suddenly on January 7th. He used to eat my food. He had cajones.

Well, he really didn’t have them. Mom took them. She trapped him when he first started showing up on our back porch and had him neutered. He was not a happy kitty. He was hissing and spitting in the trap. I heard him! I was a little scared, to tell you the truth. I didn’t know what that noise was outside. Mom didn’t tell me she was going to trap a wild beast.

After he was released, he was too upset with being trapped to relax enough to live with us. Mom was sad about this but she was patient with him and kept feeding him. He started to trust her and moved in on our front porch. He brought his girlfriend.

The two of them used to come with Mom and me on my walks. Mom got upset by this because she was always afraid they would get hit by a car, but they wouldn’t listen to her. They followed us all the time.

Mom says Zeus’ girlfriend is the reason he trusts her. Saki, that’s her name and she lives with us inside now too, would come right up to Mom when she brought the food outside.


Zeus saw her and didn’t want to miss out so he decided to overcome his fear and come up to Mom to eat right away too. Plus he was like me. He loved FOOD!

Which brings me back to my food. He used to steal it. When Mom was filling my dish, he would jump up on the counter and I would see him eating out of my bowl. And what’s worse, you ask? MOM LET HIM!!!!! She let him steal her food too.

Mom doesn’t even let ME steal her food. This cat was something else.

He was the scarediest scaredy-cat I’ve ever met: he needed his girlfriend to comfort him for everything, even his first vet visit where he was diagnosed with Feline Immunodeficiency Virus (FIV). He wasn’t sick; his immune system was just a little weaker than other cats.

Mom is very sad. She loved Zeus. I bet Saki is very sad too, but she doesn’t come down from upstairs and I don’t go up there very often because of my Arthur-itis. Wasabi comes downstairs, though. He misses Zeus. There’s even a chance that Zeus is his biological Daddy because Wasabi was born on our back porch just before Zeus started coming around.

We will always love you, Zeus, even though you were a dinner thief.

Sammie is Grounded. Mommy is Writing.

The doggie is in deep doo-doo.  She is grounded and I’m restricting her computer privileges.  You see, she learned something new.

I know my cats are fat, but DAMN.

Luckily, some people have commented that they like the last few posts where Mom interacts a little more.  I know you all love Sammie and love hearing the horrors of how her diet affects her daily life directly from her; but since she’s grounded, I think I’m going to write a post for her blog, just this once.  She loves you all and she is worried about her public missing her.  See, I’m not THAT mean!

Don’t tell Mom I added a picture after she was done!  Mom never adds enough pictures.

Do y’all want to know why she’s grounded?  I know you can see she broke the litter box–cheating on her diet and eating the litter!  It’s not entirely her fault.  It all started when she got a kidney infection.  Of course, it was on a weekend and we had to go to the emergency vet.  Any pet owner knows they ALWAYS manage to get sick when the regular vet isn’t in.

We ran the standard blood tests and urinalysis and they found a whole lot of protein and elevated kidney values.  She got antibiotics for the infection, both pills and a bottle of topical, which I affectionately termed her “pussy powder” and she got over her infection.

We went back to her regular vet for another round of blood work to check those kidney values again, hoping they were only elevated due to the infection.  But they weren’t.  She is in the beginning stages of kidney failure.

We had to take a look at her diet.  I decided to try some of the specially formulated kidney diet food from the vet.  All things in moderation, right?  I figured if we replaced one meal a day with the prescription food, it would take some strain off her kidneys and it wouldn’t destroy the progress she has made.  Life is about making the necessary adjustments for the hand you’re dealt–and so is dieting.  You can’t be so regimented about it that you feel like you’ll fail if you deviate from the meal plan even once.  Things come up.  Cat food gets stolen.  Sometimes from both ends of the cat.

So we tried the prescription food for her evening meal for a while.  I visit with my parents in the evenings, meaning Samantha Rose is left to her own devices after this meal.  I block the cat food or put it out of her reach when I’m not around and that worked out most of the time.  Until the appetite stimulant started to work in the prescription food.  Note to self:  read the packaging.  There’s an appetite stimulant in the prescription kidney diet food.

Now Miss Samantha Rose is hungrier and there is cat food out and about in the house.  And Samantha is a rottweiler. Rottweilers are smart, if you didn’t know.

Yeah, even smarter than that.

Samantha has realized she is not as fat as she used to be.  And I have realized that my barriers to the cat food and litter were based on Sammie’s diminished physical abilities due to her girth.

One of the barriers I used was the bed.  Sadly, she can’t walk up steps and she couldn’t jump up on the bed anymore.  Now Sammie has learned she can finally get her fat butt up on the bed again.  And also down the other side, where I had set up cat food and litter boxes quite openly for the cats since the dog couldn’t get to them.

She stole 3 plates of canned cat food, 2 bowls of dry cat food and helped herself to some yummy kitty litter contents while she was at it.

Yes, I recovered the missing bite of the bowl.  I know you were wondering.

She now waits for me to leave so she can make her rounds to see which obstacles she can get through on her vigorously renewed search for cat food.  Only after the meal with the appetite stimulants.

We have learned that this food defeats us on two levels.  It makes Sammie hungrier so she searches out more food wrecking her diet; and she finds cat food, which has more protein in it than dog food, so it defeats the purpose of the lower protein food in the first place.  We have to adjust her food again.  That’s what you do.  You make adjustments and you don’t sweat the minor screw-ups.  Especially with a dog on a diet.  S*** happens, sometimes it gets eaten.  You just do better the next day.

You can bet we will be readjusting Sammie’s diet, searching for a food that is lower in protein for some of her meals, and keeping the food she is eating for others.  It’s all trial and error.  This week we had an error.

There is a plus side to this error though.  My Sammie has figured out that she has lost enough weight to allow her to get up on the bed again!  😀 <3

My Sammie is on the bed!

Shhhhhh! I Hijacked Mom’s Podcast!

Hello, my adoring fans!  And new people who find me through the podcast.  Mom tried.  She really did.

We have to be nice and let her think she did the podcast all right.  But don’t worry, I fixed it.  Continued below…

 

Mom attempted an interview podcast.  It was SUPPOSED to be an interview of both of us but nobody let me talk.  Mom tried her best; but she didn’t answer all the questions exactly the way I would have.  So I had to edit it.

I would like to thank Wilford, the cat, for allowing Mom and me to use her office to record the podcast since she has way cooler equipment than mom does.

And thank her Daddy, Micky, for helping Mom not sound too dumb in the part she did.

Thank you, Wilford, also for letting me sneak back in to the office when Mom and Micky were distracted to record my edits.

I stole Mom’s old laptop so I could do the cuts of the editing at home.  Mom screwed up a lot and I didn’t have that much time by myself in the office!

I’d like everyone to know about Sheila’s book, the one I am reading in the picture Mom took for the podcast,

https://www.amazon.com/Zen-Unleashed-Everyday-Buddhist-Wisdom/dp/159298990X

Sheila is a doggie too!  And I won her book for writing a haiku for her contest on her Facebook page!

I hope you like my first podcast!

 

Thirty six questions to fall in love with Sammie. As if you weren’t already!

I haven’t been posting regularly lately.  I’m sorry!  Professor was very sick and Mom was spending a lot of time with him.  He used to growl at me so I couldn’t go in with him.  He went to the Rainbow Bridge on November 20.  Mom says his ashes will be home soon to join the three doggies she had before I came to live here.  Nobody will growl at me anymore.  I have to give him credit, he was very brave!  He didn’t run from me and I was MUCH bigger than him.  Mom misses him.  I guess I do too.

Professor succumbed to anemia caused by Feline Leukemia Virus.  He was about 4 years old.  He lived with us for just a little over one year.  Medical science knows nothing about viruses.

Anyway, Mom is taking a class.  Night school for divorced ladies as Elizabeth Gilbert might call it.

Yeah, Mom reads these books.  She always has.  This picture is a few years old.  The wine is a random one she had that day.  She went through a phase where she tried every wine on the shelf.

But I digress, Mom is taking a class.  And her assignment was to fall in love.  She said, “Nothin’ doin’!”  So she’s falling in love with me.  Can you tell Mom is an introvert?  Not a people person at all.  I’m the outgoing fun one!  So I am going to help her do these 36 questions.  I’m going to answer some and she’s going to answer the others.  It is HER assignment, after all.  I refuse to do ALL the work for her.  Plus she sometimes can tell what I’m thinking so occasionally I let her talk for me.  But only when she’s a good girl.

1.  Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Probably one of her former owners.  I’m sure she misses some very much.  Dogs remember.  One in particular I know she would share fries from Wendy’s.  And yes, I do bring her fries from Wendy’s once in a while.  After her metabolism kicked in, I started letting her snack.  We just take an extra walk or cut some calories elsewhere.  Dieting is an ongoing process not a punishment.  She gets people food now!

2.  Would you like to be famous? In what way?

I already am!  Look how much my public loves me!  I know you all want to meet me too!

3.  Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say?  Why?

Dogs don’t make telephone calls, silly!

 

4.  What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

It would definitely involve a car ride, lots of food, a walk, pets from everybody, stealing all the cat food in the house, and curling up with someone she loves.  And maybe catching a ups truck or a squirrel.  If she wasn’t sleeping when it went by.

I found another fat Sammie picture!

 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

We “sing” to each other every night!  I like to sing with Mom.  Even though she is completely off key.

We do.  And yes, I know I’m off key.  It’s a ritual we have developed since she was left with me.  Every night, Sammie gets a few treats and a bone to chew.  Then she gets her midnight snack (which is usually around 1 or 2 AM), she gets a massage, and we growl and howl together and wake up the neighborhood!  And then it’s bedtime.  Usually that ends up being 4 AM-ish.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Definitely body.  My answer would be the same as Sammie’s.  The mind is shaped by experience.  Why would you want to give that up?  No matter what the outcome.  And also, see next question.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Two different vets think she might have Cushing’s disease.  Her cortisol levels are off the charts, her liver values have been high since last year’s annual checkup and just this year her kidney values were elevated.  She got an infection.  She gets them occasionally.  That’s a sign of Cushing’s.  So was her ballooning up to 158#.  Although the vet is surprised she is keeping the weight off.  That is difficult with Cushing’s.  We work at it.

I’m not going to put her through the treatment for Cushing’s.  She’s 8, maybe 9 years old.  It’s a manageable condition.  And the possible gains from treating her with chemotherapy drugs aren’t that much.  I’m mostly afraid of the kidney values.  That’s what I fear will do her in.  I had a dog before her who had chronic kidney failure.  You can smell it on their breath.  Its terrible.  I did everything right to keep his organs functioning as best I could.

I had to sign his execution orders because nobody told me the mineral deposits his kidneys couldn’t clear out were building up in his brain.  There’s nothing to be done for that because nothing crosses the blood brain barrier to flush those.  He got really weak and woozy.  He had a seizure.  Almost bit his tongue off.  I stuck my hands in his mouth against veterinarian express orders; but he flailed around so much, I couldn’t stop it.
I really don’t want to make that decision for Sammie.  Like our intro says, I’m not “her person”, I’m just a person who loves her.  Dogs pick their person.  But she’s my responsibility now and that comes with the territory.  It just came with the territory with Professor.

8.  Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

We like food!   And naps.  And cuddles.

9.  For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

She would say everything!  She’s very grateful.
Having a home.   She came from a shelter to her last owner.   While she was in lock up, she was attacked by another dog they put with her.   She has scars and is wary of dogs bigger than her.   She used to suck her toe when she first came, a comfort thing.  Somewhere, on an old memory card from a flip phone, I should have a video of her doing that.  She doesn’t do it anymore.   She finally relaxed.   She finally knows shes safe.   Forever.   In HER home.   Please Rescue!

Photo by Fredrik Öhlander on Unsplash

 

10.  If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

I would have a forever home from the start.  No pound.  All dogs and cats should.

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

I wish she could.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Shes already perfect!
What mom said!  Only add psychokinesis.  So I can will food to come to me.

 

Set II

13.  If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Dogs don’t worry about the future.  They are a wonderful reminder to be present and be happy.

14.  Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time?  Why haven’t you done it?

Catching that darn ups truck!  Mom stops me every time I try to chase it.  It’s her fault, really.  I could catch it.  I know I could.  Or a squirrel.  I could catch one of those too!

15.  What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Sammie went from 158# to 134# on her diet!

I can walk around the block!  I couldn’t walk around the house when I first started.

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

Treats and pet me!  But bring me treats!

17.  What is your most treasured memory?

Laying outside by the fire at night when I was first sprung from the pound.  Next to…

18.  What is your most terrible memory?

Being afraid/ being alone.  She cowers.  Something bad happened to her at some time in her life.  I can tell when things remind her of it.

19.  If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?  Why?

Eat more! Of course!

20. What does friendship mean to you?

Pets and hugs!

21.  What roles do love and affection play in your life?

Love and affection are everything to a dog!

22.  Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

Sammie is loving, stubborn, funny, smart, and protective (not of me but I’ve seen her protect.  She’d let the axe murderer get me as long as he petted her or had a treat.  She hides behind me when she’s scared.  Guess I’m the bigger badass.)

23.  How close and warm is your family?  Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

Mom is always cold and cuddling up to me to warm up.  And I nuzzle her anyway because cuddles make me happy.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Mom’s ok, I guess.

Set III

25.  Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

Happy to be home together.
Happy the kitties are all sleeping.
Wondering if there’s any good food out in the kitchen.

26.  Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “

More love.  And maybe their dinner.  Theirs.  Not mine.  Mine is mine.  But I’ll be happy to share theirs.

Photo by Aaron Thomas on Unsplash

 

27.  If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m a rottweiler.  We fart. A lot.  You’ll have to deal with it.
Also, if you are so privileged as to have me “growl” at you, I am not growling.  I am purring.  It is called the Rottie Rumble.  It’s a thing.  Don’t be scared.

28.  Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

Mom, you keep me safe.  That’s why I know I can hide behind you if I’m scared.

29.  Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

Ok.  Best “Sammie is really dumb sometimes” story.  We started going to Pet Valu for baths.  They have 2 glass doors.  I opened one for her to go out and she merrily walked right into the other door.  It took a minute to sort her out.  She still has the occasional disagreement with glass doors and which one is actually open.

Second impressively dumb story:  The first night I brought her to my house, I left her alone for 2 hours.  She went upstairs and somehow managed to get stuck behind the organ in my daughters room.  The organ was flanked by 2 floor to ceiling cube stacks filled with stuffed animals.  Fat rottweilers can fly.  That’s the only way I can figure she got back there!  She did not move the furniture.  I wish I would’ve taken a picture.  But I panicked.  She could’ve been hurt.

30.  When did you last cry in front of another person?  By yourself?

I remember, about 3 years ago, a house burned down a few blocks from us.  That was the last time I heard Sammie’s mournful cry.  The dog that lived there survived.  I think he was the reason she cried like that, though.

31.  Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

Mom, you feed me.  Not enough but at least you try.

32.  What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Food.  Never joke about food.

33.  If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?  Why haven’t you told them yet?

Goodbye, I love you.  He just never came back for me.

I waited for you.

34.  Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire.  After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item.  What would it be?  Why?

My treats!  Or my bowl!  Or my cases of food!  Or my big bag of kibble!  My blankie!  My toys!  Oh crap!  Squirrel!

35.  Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing?  Why?

Mom.  I don’t know who would walk me at 12am and 2am and 4am and 7 am.  Although somebody else might feed me more.

36.  Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it.  Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Mom, you are the problem.  You wont feed me as much as I like.  It’s a real problem!  Especially since the cats get food left all over the house for them all the time and it’s just out of my reach.

But I love you.

Ok, those are the 36 questions that Mom wanted me to answer.

Have you fallen in love with me yet?

My Writing Conference Adventure

This is me.  Holding my very first writing conference!  It was a big hit.  Everyone loved me and I got lots of pets.  Let me tell you all about it.

Mom told me we were GOing on a trip.  I was very excited.  I thought maybe we would finally GO on that diet she keeps promising me but it turned out we needed to go to Virginia to a writing conference.  Mom is a writer too, you know.  So we had to get ready to GO!

First I had to GO get a bath!  I like baths.  I get treats and everybody at PetValu loves me.

 

Then I had to pack my suitcase.  I get my own and it is bigger than Mom’s.  Poseidon helped me close it.  I packed my food and my treats and a toy and my blankies.

 

It took forever for the day we had to leave to get here.  I waited and waited.  Mom made us pack before that day because she was worried we would forget something.  I was so excited to GO!  And finally we were in the car and on our way.

We left late. Don’t worry, Mom is always late.  She says she isn’t late, she’s European.  I say she’s always late.  And then there was construction.  And a train!  I love trains. We live near train tracks and when a train goes by while we are out walking, I always stop to watch it.  I was glad Mom stopped the car to watch this train.  It was nice of her.

We had to stop along the road for me to go potty several times on the way down.  I was getting very tired by the time Mom said we were finally in Virginia.  When we got to the hotel, the front desk gave me treats and a bag (for when the treats come out).  The hotel we stayed at was called the Stonewall Jackson Hotel.  This is the view from where I got to go potty.

I had a new experience when we arrived.  Mom led me into a tiny room and the doors slid shut behind us.  It was very scary and I hid behind Mom.  I felt really weird in my tummy.  Suddenly the doors opened…but we weren’t in the same place anymore!  I don’t know what happened.  The room we just came out of disappeared.  And there was a hallway in front of us now.  It wasn’t where we came from!  Our scent trail ended at the door of that tiny room.  It was like the whole room moved.  I still don’t know what happened, but we went in that room often while we were there.  I was scared every time.  I would walk around behind Mom, trying to rope her with my leash to hold her still for protection, you know; but she kept twirling around and getting loose.  I don’t know why Mom felt like dancing in that tiny scary room.  She’s weird.  She called it an elevator.  Have you ever been in an elevator?  DON’T GO!

We got to our room, which was very high off the ground!  I don’t know how we got up there.  I couldn’t take the stairs.  Mom said my Arthur-itis would make me very sore if I tried.  Mom put my blankets on the floor because I couldn’t get on the bed in our room either.  That was Arthur-itis’ fault too.  He’s very mean.  And the bed was very very high.

This was the view from our window looking down. We were on the 4th floor!

I was very sad that I couldn’t make it up on the bed.  But Mom fixed everything.  She slept on the floor with me every night.

Everybody loved me in Virginia.  Of course, as you saw in my first picture, I held conference sessions in the lobby of the hotel.

But sometimes, there was nobody in my conference seating areas to pet me.  I looked for my public every time we walked through.  Someday when I’m famous, maybe you can come to one of my conferences and pet me!  Obviously, I need more people to come.

Mom and I ventured out of the hotel for walks too.  A girl has to keep her figure, even when she’s traveling.  On one walk, we ended up at the liquor store.  Mom goes there in Pennsylvania too but I never get to go.  In Virginia, they allow doggies in the liquor store!  Mom was very excited about this.  So was I, they have treats behind the counter!  Treats have no effect on my figure.  None.  Shush.

The liquor store was fun.  Lots of people petted me there too.

Our hotel was pretty nice.  They had something called room service but Mom wouldn’t let me get the dishes that were left in the hallway.  They had a dish with my name on it on the menu too.  Mom can be really mean sometimes but she said onions are not good for me so I couldn’t have MY dish.

You see that?  The Big Breakfast SAMMIE.  That should have been mine.  I’m NOT fat!  I could’ve eaten it.

I had a really good time in Virginia.  I even chased some squirrels.  This is why Mom says no one else can walk me.  Because I’m so very good until I see a squirrel.  Then I’m wonderful because I do my best to chase that squirrel.  And I help whoever is holding my leash come along with me as fast as I can go.  Even if they can’t go that fast, I make them.  Because I like to motivate people.

But when it was all over, I was very happy when we packed my blankies in my suitcase and went to the garage to get the car so we could GO home.

And I was so relieved to be back at home on MY home blankie where I belong.  I like writing conferences, I might go to some more.  But I love my home.

 

 

Professor is sick! (he’s one of my cats)

I went away with Mom on a trip the past weekend and I PROMISE everybody I am going to tell you all about it.  But Mom and I have been worried about Professor.

He is very sick and Mom drove him to West Virginia for something called a blood transfusion.  He had to spend the night in the hospital.

He has something called FeLV and Mom said he lost all his red blood cells while we were gone.  I don’t know how he lost them.  He doesn’t go outside.  Maybe I should sniff around the house to see if I can find them for him.

Mom made the house really stinky while he was gone yesterday.  She said she had to bleach the whole room he is staying in for when he got back in case he had an infection.  Mom is very sad and doesn’t know what she can do to help him.

I am writing my best without her and will post soon about our trip!