Mom says I need to do something called “exercise” a lot more. She says that’s what I’m doing when we go on walks. I do like walks. But there’s something I like more. My favorite thing in the world, besides food, or pets, or kisses, or chasing groundhogs, or walks, or barking, is CAR RIDES! I’m still waiting to GO on this diet; maybe it’ll be an even more fun ride than the car but for now I love my car. I have my own, you know.
I didn’t always. Years ago, when I moved in with mom, she only had one car. I still liked to GO for rides and was determined to GO anytime she went but I didn’t have my own CAR.
Once I even hopped in the trunk while she was loading the car because I didn’t want her to forget me!
Eventually I got one! My very own CAR! Now that I have my very own CAR, that means anytime it goes anywhere, I GO with it! No one else is allowed to use it but me. It is MY car. 
Mom’s car, the white one, only has two doors so mine is better! It has more. Mine is the four door green one. The one with the cat under it. Why is that cat under my car? That’s MY car. Not the cat car. They can’t have it. They don’t share their food with me unless I steal it; so they can’t share my car. Mom better not try taking that cat for a ride. I will be very mad.
I love my car. The seats are very soft velvet. It has four windows that I can open and stick my head out. Mom usually makes me sit in the back seat, but there is a part in the center of the front seat that I can push down and squeeze through up to the front seat when Mom isn’t looking. Shhhhhh. Please don’t tell her how I get up there! I don’t want her to fix it. It’s the best CAR ever, just the way it is.
Mom keeps my car someplace where I can’t see it most of the time. I think she hides it from me on purpose. But when I want to go for a ride, she brings it up to our front door. I know the sound of it. I will barrel through the door to get to my CAR. It’s mine! I should get to go for a ride every time I walk past my CAR. That’s probably why Mom hides it. She’s mean.
When she brings it up, I wait by the back door for Mom to open it. She is my chauffeur. That means she opens the doors for me and drives. I need to get her a little hat for when she is chauffeuring me around. It would serve her right if I did because she once put a hat on me while I was riding in my CAR. It was kind of embarrassing.
When we go for rides in my CAR,we go to lots of important places. Sometimes we go for a bath, sometimes we go to the bank for Mom, sometimes we go to the vet, but I really like it when we go to my favorite store, Muddy Paws. This is me getting a treat at the counter. Mom was so proud of me when I was able to stand up at the counter one day. She said it’s because of that diet but I don’t know how that’s possible because I still never got to GO there.
Mom says I don’t get any exercise when I ride in my CAR and that I need to walk places. I like walks, but I love riding in my CAR.
