Month: April 2017

4/22/2017

No extra food today.  I am so disappointed.  It was a one time thing.  I was really hoping Mom saw the error of her ways and decided to feed me right again.  But alas, no.   I must suffer with these small sad excuses for meals when I could eat so much more!

 

4/23/2017

We seem to be going for extra walks.  I think Mom is trying to be nice to me.  The extra food on Friday, and now extra walks all weekend….Hmmmmmm…wonder how I can remind her about what the vet said about GOing on a diet?  Maybe she would finally take me!  I still really want to GO on a diet.  She mentions it sometimes but we never GO!

 

4/24/2017

Last night I stole a plate of cat food!  Mom figured out that one of the cats helped me by pushing it out from under the bed.  She is learning my secrets.  Sometimes the kitties help me get extra food.  It is nice to have help!  Even if they don’t always mean to help me.  Kitties can be useful friends.

 

4/25/2017

Mom is outside.  She has not fed me yet this morning.  There is something going on out there.  I have been up all night because of that other dog out there.  I heard him.  And I smelled him.  I almost inhaled the front door smelling for him!  He was eating the cat food that is supposed to be left there for me to try to steal!  He was eating MY cat food!  Mine!  And Mom has been taking more out all night.  Traitor.  She won’t feed me extra but she will feed animals she doesn’t know!  Who aren’t supposed to be on MY porch.  How unfair is that?!  She thought it was a new hungry stray cat out there I’ve been upset about.  But it wasn’t.  It was this dog.  I don’t know where he came from but he’s eating on MY porch.  And Mom went out there with him now that she’s seen him.  She’s probably feeding him my breakfast while I’m trapped here inside the house.

 

4/26/2017

We really did have some serious excitement yesterday!  It turns out Mom did not fee the doggie visitor on the porch my breakfast.  And I got an extra rawhide roll and a STEAK!!  Mom said it is because I was a good girl and alerted her about the other doggie, Buddy.  She hugged me a lot when she came in.  She said I was such a good girl for barking and whining at the door so he had food all night and stayed around until she saw him so she could get him back to his home.  She is so happy I barked for him.  I don’t bark at all when people come to the door but I let her know something was going on out there!  In fairness, he was eating food that I couldn’t get to!  I certainly was going to have something to say about that.  But I am a good girl and I got STEAK!  Mom said it is ok to have a treat every now and then.

 

4/27/2017

No STEAK yesterday.  How sad.  I was hoping for another one.  Treats are ok sometimes according to Mom.  And it is always some time!  So I should always get treats.  Right?  I thought so.  But I did sleep a lot yesterday.  I was tired from all the excitement and being up all night the night before.

 

4/28/2017

Mom was out late last night.  I didn’t think I was ever going to get my dinner!  I thought she was going to only give me 2 meals again.  But I made it through the whole week with all my scheduled meals plus and extra bone and a STEAK!  We need more doggie visitors so I can get more STEAK.

4/15/2017

I smell ham.  I know I smell ham.  Mom smells like ham.  It’s one of those holiday things where she makes lots of meat food.  I smell bacon too.  She cooked.  She said she was just going over to Grandpa’s house yesterday, but I know she cooked!  Everything smells like ham.  And bacon.  I want what she’s been cooking!  After all, I am part of the family.  I should get to eat the same thing as everybody else.  Plus my food.  I’m cute too.  That gets me bonus points!  Somebody will feed me.

 

4/16/2017

It was all excitement yesterday.  Mom pulled out a big basket.  There was food in it.  It smelled like ham!  And bacon!  And eggs.  And cheese.  And bread.  Food.  Food food food!  All I smell is food!  I want food.  But did I get food yesterday?  No!  Mom wouldn’t let me have any.  In fact, she cheated me out of a meal again.  I have come to expect this on Fridays.  I thought I made it through this past week because Mom was so busy on Friday with HAM.  But she did it yesterday.  And everything smells like food.  I’m so hungry.

 

4/17/2017

Yesterday I got a little people food.  It wasn’t very much.  Just a little.  Not near enough for how cute I am!  But at least I got some.  Perhaps the starvation is over and this was my celebration meal.  Maybe Mom will continue to feed me people food.  I hope so.

 

4/18/2017

No people food yesterday!  None.  I was back to my regular food schedule.  Which is still not back to what it used to be.  We went for a walk later in the morning though.  And the neighbor lady gave me a ball!  I’m very cute and I get presents just for walking down the street!  I chased a bicycle too!  Well, I tried to and I pulled Mom down on the wet grass!  Haha.  Serves her right for trying to starve me.  The bicycle got away though.

 

4/19/2017

Yesterday was normal food.  Shorted normal but what passes for normal around here any more.  I know there is more ham around.  I catch whiffs of it every now and again.  But nobody thinks of the dog when they’re eating.  You can stare straight at them and they just act like they can’t hear you staring.  Even when you know they can hear you staring.  Nobody thinks of the poor hungry wasting away dog.  Sigh.  It’s such a sad life when people eat and won’t share any with you.  I’m cute and everything!

 

4/20/2017

I got her!  I outsmarted Mom and taught her a lesson!  HA!  She only gave me two meals yesterday.  I am supposed to get at least three.  Plus snacks.  I should get snacks.  and treats.  And shares.  But I digress.  She thought I wouldn’t notice.  But I got her!  At 2:30 in the morning, I came across a plate of the cats’ wet food and I stole it!  Mom heard me slurping and woke up to yell at me and took the plate off of me but it was too late!  I already ate the cat food that was on the plate!  Haha.  I got my three meals!  Mom still has no idea how I got that plate and I’ll never tell her.  I got my three meals!  Even if I did have to do it myself!  I am a very resourceful doggie.  I am so proud of me!  I not only got my three meals, one of the was cat food.  And I love cat food!

 

4/21/2017

Shhhhhhhh.  Mom screwed up yesterday.  I got extra dry food in my lunch!  I watched her.  She put two scoops in.  Just like she used to!  Just like she is supposed to before all this starving me nonsense started.  And I got a scoop for dinner too!  The famine may be coming to an end.  Mom is starting to feed me again!  YAY!  Maybe now we will GO on that diet.  Because I don’t know what ever happened to that but I know we never did GO!  And the vet said we were supposed to.

Saturday 4/8/2017

Mom was feeling a little better yesterday.  We went for a longer walk!  And know what else?  I think she finally gave up trying to make me CATholic!  She gave me all three meals!  They are still far too small but she gave me all three!  Perhaps the famine is over.  Mom says we are GOing  to the vet on Monday.  That is good because maybe he will tell her to feed me more!  And hopefully he will yell at her because I never got to GO on a diet!  Maybe he will make her take me.

 

Sunday 4/9/2017

She didn’t skip a meal yesterday either!  Yay!  No more of this CATholic nonsense!  I am a DOG and I need every single one of my meals!  I am back to my normal walking distance, the grass is growing so nice and high along the way and I can munch on some as we go!  Spring is here!

 

Monday 4/10/2017

I made it through the weekend without skipping a meal!  The whole weekend!  I even got to steal a plate of wet cat food yesterday!  One of the kitties didn’t cooperate with Mom so she had to feed her in a place where I can reach.  As soon as Mom turned her back after that kitty was done, I grabbed that plate and licked it clean.  Mom yelled at me for it.  But it doesn’t matter.  I got it anyway!  *sticks my tongue out*  Finders keepers.  Especially when it is already in my happy tummy.  We go to the vet later this morning.  Car ride!

 

Tuesday 4/11/2017

Wow.  Yesterday was something else.  I went to the vet and Mom got so excited; it was unbelievable!  She was so happy.  She said it was because I lost three pounds.  I got lots and lots of pets from the vet techs too.  They think I am beautiful.  I got a booster shot too.  That was a bit yucky.  But I got lots of pets!  After that, we went for a bath.  I like baths.  Well, I don’t like the actual bath so much, though the massage from the shower is nice.  I like that they give me treats!  I got treats!  And Mom bought me a bully braid.  I pick them up out of the bin by the counter and she buys them for me.  I don’t chew them until I get home but I usually carry it to the door of the store so Mom remembers to bring it with us.  Because it’s mine.  I came home and chewed it too.  It was a wonderful day!

 

Wednesday 4/12/2017

I had diarrhea yesterday.  Mom said it was probably from the shot.  I don’t like shots.  My tummy was upset.  We went outside a lot.  We walked too.  But Mom let me take it slow because of my upset tummy.

 

Thursday 4/13/2017

We walked extra yesterday.  I was feeling better and over my diarrhea so Mom said I had to walk off all those treats from Monday.  I don’t know what she means.  I am not giving them back!  I got them fair and square because I am beautiful!  Besides, I already ate them.  So there.  But we walked a lot more!  I like walks.  I’m so glad it’s so pretty outside and we get to go more often!

 

Friday 4/14/2017

Mom did it again.  She skipped one of my meals yesterday.  I’m growling at her this morning to get up early and feed me.  She’s not cooperating though.  It’s not right to skip my meals!  I’m a hungry girl.  I’ve gotten her up three times already and she won’t feed me.  I think she might know how to tell time because she keeps telling me that it is too early to feed me.  But I missed a meal yesterday!  So I should be allowed to make it up today by eating earlier and eating more!  That’s just how it should be!  Gggrrrrrrrrowl!  Mommy get up!  Get up!  And FEED ME!

Saturday 4/1/2017

After I upset my bowl yesterday, Mom got the hint and gave me breakfast.  So I THOUGHT we were off to a good start.  Alas, this was not the case.  She did it AGAIN.  Only two meals.  I don’t know what I am going to do.  Every week, I miss an entire meal!  It’s awful.  How would you feel if you missed a meal a week!  And I don’t know why!!!  It’s so sad.  It’s been a very good week for walks though!  We had the big run.  We had the tracking day.  And yesterday, we went a little farther!  Mom expanded my territory!  It’s great!  I love walks.  I get to smell so many wonderful new exciting smells!  I get to munch on some yummy grass.  Mom lets me.  She calls it my salad.  She read somewhere that horses know what grasses to choose to heal themselves and she says that dogs are just as smart as horses so I must know what I’m doing.  Walks are great!

 

Sunday 4/2/2017

Yesterday Mom was worried about me.  I was limping.  My knees hurt.  She cut my walks short.  She says I have something called Arthur-itis.  Arthur needs to stay away because now, in addition to the food Mom is withholding, I am missing out on walks.  Arthur is mean.  Mom says I will have to take one of my pills soon if I keep limping.  She doesn’t like giving me pills.  I don’t like them either, they make me feel weird…buuuttttt….I get a treat with pills!  Mom says they are bad for my kidneys and that she’s afraid that since I get more apt to run amok when I can’t feel the pain, I might not know when to stop and really hurt myself overdoing it.  We walked an awful lot this week.  Mom thinks we might have to slow it down a bit because I’m aggravating my Arthur-itis and she doesn’t want me to get hurt.  She says we will just have to go at our own pace.

 

Monday 4/3/2017

I am so quick!  I am the fastest thing on four legs!  Let me tell you why!  Mom opened a new bag of cat food yesterday.  She opened it on the kitchen floor because they are big bags.  She has a lot of cats.  So she opened this bag and she didn’t see me standing in the kitchen doorway watching her!  But I was!  And do you know what she did?  She turned her back on it to go grab some dishes to fill!  I saw this as my opportunity and I took it!  I snagged some cat food right out of the bag!  It was so fresh and tasty!  I am such a smart girl!  And fast!  Did I mention fast?  Mom didn’t see me coming!  She yelled at me though.  But it was well worth it.  I got a nice bit snout-full of cat food!  I LOVE cat food.

 

Tuesday 4/4/2017

Last night I got in real trouble.  I think I did something bad.  Mom was very very mad at me.  I don’t know what I did wrong.  She went out and I was hungry.  There was no one home to feed me so I just helped myself to the garbage can.  I was just trying to be helpful!  She wasn’t around and I didn’t want to starve.  I got the kitty litter she scooped!  Cat food is almost as good going out as it is fresh out of the bag.  She hides all the litter boxes from me but I got this one right out of the top of the garbage can!  I ate most of it.  Only got a little bit on the floor.  And it was the fine stuff.  I got all the big lumps.  Those are the best part!  She thought it was a big deal though.  She pulled out the big scary noisy monster she calls a vacuum cleaner and I ran to the other room.  It was very scary!  I don’t know why Mom got so upset.  I was just hungry.  I didn’t eat any of her food.  Or the cats’.  They were done with it.  Everybody was done with it!  It was in the garbage!   That’s fair game, right?

 

Wednesday 4/5/2017

I let Mom know yesterday how unhappy I am with the feeding arrangements.  I started eating as soon as the first scoop of food hit my bowl.  I was very hungry.  I had mom up in the middle of the night because for some reason I had to potty really really bad.  It was really yucky too.  I can’t imagine why.  I didn’t eat anything yucky.  I had my normal food and the kitty litter out of the garbage like I told you yesterday.  But that was fresh so it couldn’t have gone bad yet.  But Mom noticed that I didn’t wait for her to finish filling my bowl!  Maybe she will get the hint that I’m a hungry girl and feed me more.  A very long time ago, I used to eat my dry food separate from my wet food but my Daddy started mixing it and Mom let him.  After I found out that could happen, I wouldn’t touch my dry food unless I had a can of food mixed in!  That’s how I started getting so many cans a day!  Because Mom was worried I wasn’t getting enough nutrients.  I wish Mom would cave now like she did back then.  She really needs to give me more food.

 

Thursday 4/6/2017

I had NO walks yesterday!  None!  Mom was in bed all day and when I barked at her, all she did was take me to the back yard.  We did not go out for walks at all!  I don’t like it when Mom is sick!  I want my walks!  And my doggie massage!  At least she fed me.  But no walks!  This is terrible!

 

Friday 4/7/2016

Mom was still sick again yesterday!  So no walks!  Well, we did go to the bottom of the hill on our street and right back up.  It was better than the day before but it was not a good walk.  Mom gave me an extra treat because she said she felt bad for me.  She said, “don’t get used to this!”  That was very mean of her.  But she gave me a treat at least.  She seems rather upset about no walks and about giving me an extra treat.  She says my weigh-in is on the 10th.  I don’t know what a weigh-in is or why I need one but she says we get to GO!  And GOing is always good.