Author: SammieRose

Saturday 4/1/2017

After I upset my bowl yesterday, Mom got the hint and gave me breakfast.  So I THOUGHT we were off to a good start.  Alas, this was not the case.  She did it AGAIN.  Only two meals.  I don’t know what I am going to do.  Every week, I miss an entire meal!  It’s awful.  How would you feel if you missed a meal a week!  And I don’t know why!!!  It’s so sad.  It’s been a very good week for walks though!  We had the big run.  We had the tracking day.  And yesterday, we went a little farther!  Mom expanded my territory!  It’s great!  I love walks.  I get to smell so many wonderful new exciting smells!  I get to munch on some yummy grass.  Mom lets me.  She calls it my salad.  She read somewhere that horses know what grasses to choose to heal themselves and she says that dogs are just as smart as horses so I must know what I’m doing.  Walks are great!

 

Sunday 4/2/2017

Yesterday Mom was worried about me.  I was limping.  My knees hurt.  She cut my walks short.  She says I have something called Arthur-itis.  Arthur needs to stay away because now, in addition to the food Mom is withholding, I am missing out on walks.  Arthur is mean.  Mom says I will have to take one of my pills soon if I keep limping.  She doesn’t like giving me pills.  I don’t like them either, they make me feel weird…buuuttttt….I get a treat with pills!  Mom says they are bad for my kidneys and that she’s afraid that since I get more apt to run amok when I can’t feel the pain, I might not know when to stop and really hurt myself overdoing it.  We walked an awful lot this week.  Mom thinks we might have to slow it down a bit because I’m aggravating my Arthur-itis and she doesn’t want me to get hurt.  She says we will just have to go at our own pace.

 

Monday 4/3/2017

I am so quick!  I am the fastest thing on four legs!  Let me tell you why!  Mom opened a new bag of cat food yesterday.  She opened it on the kitchen floor because they are big bags.  She has a lot of cats.  So she opened this bag and she didn’t see me standing in the kitchen doorway watching her!  But I was!  And do you know what she did?  She turned her back on it to go grab some dishes to fill!  I saw this as my opportunity and I took it!  I snagged some cat food right out of the bag!  It was so fresh and tasty!  I am such a smart girl!  And fast!  Did I mention fast?  Mom didn’t see me coming!  She yelled at me though.  But it was well worth it.  I got a nice bit snout-full of cat food!  I LOVE cat food.

 

Tuesday 4/4/2017

Last night I got in real trouble.  I think I did something bad.  Mom was very very mad at me.  I don’t know what I did wrong.  She went out and I was hungry.  There was no one home to feed me so I just helped myself to the garbage can.  I was just trying to be helpful!  She wasn’t around and I didn’t want to starve.  I got the kitty litter she scooped!  Cat food is almost as good going out as it is fresh out of the bag.  She hides all the litter boxes from me but I got this one right out of the top of the garbage can!  I ate most of it.  Only got a little bit on the floor.  And it was the fine stuff.  I got all the big lumps.  Those are the best part!  She thought it was a big deal though.  She pulled out the big scary noisy monster she calls a vacuum cleaner and I ran to the other room.  It was very scary!  I don’t know why Mom got so upset.  I was just hungry.  I didn’t eat any of her food.  Or the cats’.  They were done with it.  Everybody was done with it!  It was in the garbage!   That’s fair game, right?

 

Wednesday 4/5/2017

I let Mom know yesterday how unhappy I am with the feeding arrangements.  I started eating as soon as the first scoop of food hit my bowl.  I was very hungry.  I had mom up in the middle of the night because for some reason I had to potty really really bad.  It was really yucky too.  I can’t imagine why.  I didn’t eat anything yucky.  I had my normal food and the kitty litter out of the garbage like I told you yesterday.  But that was fresh so it couldn’t have gone bad yet.  But Mom noticed that I didn’t wait for her to finish filling my bowl!  Maybe she will get the hint that I’m a hungry girl and feed me more.  A very long time ago, I used to eat my dry food separate from my wet food but my Daddy started mixing it and Mom let him.  After I found out that could happen, I wouldn’t touch my dry food unless I had a can of food mixed in!  That’s how I started getting so many cans a day!  Because Mom was worried I wasn’t getting enough nutrients.  I wish Mom would cave now like she did back then.  She really needs to give me more food.

 

Thursday 4/6/2017

I had NO walks yesterday!  None!  Mom was in bed all day and when I barked at her, all she did was take me to the back yard.  We did not go out for walks at all!  I don’t like it when Mom is sick!  I want my walks!  And my doggie massage!  At least she fed me.  But no walks!  This is terrible!

 

Friday 4/7/2016

Mom was still sick again yesterday!  So no walks!  Well, we did go to the bottom of the hill on our street and right back up.  It was better than the day before but it was not a good walk.  Mom gave me an extra treat because she said she felt bad for me.  She said, “don’t get used to this!”  That was very mean of her.  But she gave me a treat at least.  She seems rather upset about no walks and about giving me an extra treat.  She says my weigh-in is on the 10th.  I don’t know what a weigh-in is or why I need one but she says we get to GO!  And GOing is always good.

Saturday 3/25/2017

It is official.  Mom is trying to starve me.  She did it again yesterday.  She only fed me two meals!  I have been reduced to living off the scraps of a cardboard box the cats tore up.  And Mom even took those right out of my mouth! Can you believe it?  She took it right out of my mouth.  She must really have it in for me.  I don’t know what I did to deserve this.  She won’t even let me have cardboard to eat.  I only got four cups of dry food and one can of wet food yesterday.  Absolute starvation is eminent.

 

Sunday 3/26/2017

Food was back to what passes for normal around here yesterday; even though Mom went out.  Missing food is never normal and I’m still hungry but it seems this might be the new routine.  Except on those darn Fridays when Mom has been forgetting my third meal because Grandpa says I have to be CATholic.  Stupid cats.  Something must be done about that.  I am getting more walks, so I guess that’s a good thing.  But I miss my food.  And we still haven’t gotten to GO on a diet yet.  I have to convince Mom to GO somewhere.  It’s the only way I’m going to make up for this missing food.  I continue to wake her when she is sleeping but she’s just not getting the hint.  I don’t know how to make her GO somewhere so I can beg other people for treats.

 

Monday 3/27/2017

Ha ha!  I found a plate of food that the cats that live on the porch lost!  They run when I come out but it tastes like the same food I steal from the cats in the house.  It was spilled all over the grass as I was walking to the back yard to go to the potty.  Maybe they can help me ward off starvation by leaving food in the yard for me!  Mom feeds them whenever they meow.  And she would never know it was for me because they have other strays come to eat too!  I will have to talk to them and see if they will help me.

 

Tuesday 3/28/2017

Mom gave the cats treats yesterday.  She gave me a very very very small piece of beef stick.  Those darn cats got gigantic handfuls of treats!  It took them AGES to eat them all.  (They didn’t drop a single one either.  I checked.)  And I only got a tiny miniscule piece of beef.  It was gone in one bite.  Obviously, Mom is not starving those cats.  I wonder why she’s starving me?  I am ever so cute!  Everyone says so.  And I’m hungry.

 

Wednesday 3/29/2017

Mom’s treats are insufficient.  I finally came up with a plan yesterday.  I figured out how to tell her I want to GO somewhere!  I had hoped she would take me on that diet that the vet talked about because there was definitely food mentioned in that conversation.  When she took me outside, I pulled her to the car and kept herding her around it.  I really thought she’d get the hint and we would GO!  She said I have to wait.  That we will be GOing for a bath soon…and you know what that means! TREATS!  And that I have a vet appointment next week.  That’s good.  Maybe he will remind her that we need to GO on that diet!  I sure hope so because I can just taste the treats I will get when we GO on that diet!

 

Thursday 3/30/2017

So yesterday Mom got all excited.  We were on one of our short walks and I ran!  She had to trot to keep up with me.  She was very happy about this for some reason.  She said maybe I am finally starting to lose weight.  I don’t remember losing anything.  And if I did, I’m sure I could sniff it out and find it again.  I have all my toys.  I counted them when we got back just to make sure.  I don’t want to lose anything!  Losing is bad.  But Mom seemed happy and we were running!  But my run got interrupted by a loose doggie.  Mom brought me back to the house and then she went back outside.  I think she went to run with the other doggie.  He was fast.  I am not that fast.  My knees bother me and that other doggie was much leaner than I am.  I am built for cuddles and warmies.  I didn’t smell the other doggie on Mom when she got back.  Maybe he was too fast and didn’t want to run with a slowpoke like her.  But I wasn’t very happy that my run got interrupted.

 

Friday 3/31/2017

Yesterday I did not run on my walk like the day before.  I tracked.  I sniffed and sniffed and backtracked and front tracked and sidetracked.  And Mom let me!  She didn’t make me stick to the path.  At least that was nice of her.  I was trying to find the doggie from the day before but he wasn’t around.  I was also trying to find the strange smell from the night before.  Mom said the cats had a visitor.  I smelled their visitor all the way in the house!  Mom smelled him too.  She said it was a skunk and I couldn’t go out of the yard because he would spray me.  Today is Friday, Mom says.  I came inside from my morning pee and upset my bowl so Mom knows that I know it is empty.  She better get that food in there fast.  And she better not short me any.  I hope there isn’t any missing food today.

Saturday 3/18/2017

Do you know what happened yesterday?  It was Friday.  And Mom thinks I don’t realize it; but she only fed me TWICE yesterday!  I got cheated out of a whole can of food.  Cheated!  It is terrible.  This cannot go on!  Grandpa told Mom it is something called “lent.”  Grandpa said I need to be a good CATholic.  I do not like “lent.”  I am not a CATholic…I am a DOG.  What if she cheats me out of food again tomorrow because of this “lent” thing???  I have come to the conclusion that I don’t care if we never GO on a diet.  I just want my food back!  I’m hungry.

 

Sunday 3/19/2017

Ok.  Phew.  Three meals yesterday.  Mom must’ve finally realized I can’t be CATholic because I am a DOG.  But still, it seems, I am short food.  At least I get three meals.  I must watch that woman when she dishes it out and see what is wrong.  I don’t know why Mom can’t get it right anymore.  It’s awful.

 

Monday 3/20/2017

I know there is missing food.  I can count.  I watched her put only ONE scoop in lunch yesterday.  There are supposed to be TWO.  And for dinner, I get the WHOLE can.  Not this half nonsense.  Thank goodness she’s added this extra scoop of kibble in dinner.  I’ll keep that.  But I need my other scoop in lunch and the rest of the can for dinner.  I’m sure now that Mom forgot all about promising we could GO on a diet but it doesn’t matter anyway.  I can’t do anything about that at the moment.  This food situation is paramount.  I’m trying to tell Mom that something is off with her math.  Every time we are in the kitchen, I nudge my bowl.  She has to get the hint.  I have also started to whine earlier for feeding times.  Perhaps if I can catch her earlier, she won’t be too drunk to count to TWO for my scoops.  She would never short me food on purpose!  Would she???!

 

Tuesday 3/21/2017

Drastic measures are necessary.  I must do something.  It has been almost tow weeks and I cannot go on without my full compliment of food!  Last night, I woke Mom up at 2 am whining.  She will get tired of this and start feeding me more.  Mom can’t stand to see anyone sad.  She will feed me!  I also sat beside her when she filled my dish and pointedly hung my head when she only put one scoop in for lunch and dinner.  She must realize I know something is wrong.  I am very smart!  She always tells me that!

 

Wednesday 3/22/2017

I woke Mom up again whining.  At least she takes me outside when I do that.  She will realize that isn’t the problem and feed me eventually!  Sometimes those Moms are slow to catch on.  They aren’t as smart as rottweilers.  I have also started foraging for food.  She has me blocked from the cats’ food.  I have gotten it many times despite her best measures to keep me from it and I will figure out how to get past her latest attempts at blocking me.  But in the meantime, I found a bag of Mom’s candy!  I only got a few pieces before she caught me.  She said it’s bad for me and took it off of me!  Do you believe that?  I got that fair and square!  I am mad.  Plus it can’t be bad for me.  I like it.  I must look for more food when Mom is otherwise occupied.

 

Thursday 3/23/2017

I woke her up again last night.  At midnight-thirty this time, she said!  She’s figuring it out!  I just know she is!  Mom is such a good girl!  She tries.  She can’t help it she doesn’t have my rottweiler brains.  But she is figuring it out that I am waking her up every night.  Soon she will realize that it is because of the great food shortage.  She will think back and correlate the two.  I wake the cats up too when I make her get up and one of them pounced on her nose!  Hehe.  The sooner she gets the food back to normal, the sooner I will let her sleep.

 

Friday 3/24/2017

I woke Mom at 3 am last night.  But that isn’t important right now.  Everything is going to be ok!  Salvation!  I forgot about treats!  Mom went to the dog food store yesterday and I got a treat!  Mom is not the only one who feeds me!  I may be able to survive after all.  The lady who owns the dog food store gives me treats.  The people at the doggie bath give me treats.  The people at the bank drive thru hand out treats.  The ice cream shop gives doggie bowls.  The neighbors sometimes stop their cars and give me beef jerky when I’m on my walks.  There are lots of places I can get people to give me food!  I don’t have to depend on Mom alone!  I found the treat in the bag on the porch before Mom even got it into the house.  I will have to keep a close eye out because this will save me.  I will not starve completely thanks to the generosity of all those people who think I am cute!  It will be ok after all.  Now I wonder if I can get Mom to remember her promise that I could GO on a diet.  Everywhere else I go they have treats.  And if the vet suggested I go, diet must be a doggie friendly place.  And that means they must have TREATS!!!

Monday 3/13/2017

It’s Monday! It’s Monday! It’s Monday!  Today is the day we GO!  I can’t wait!  Last week on Thursday, I went to the vet.  He told Mom that I am something called “40 pounds overweight”.  I’m over!  Over is great!  Over is on top!  I must be top dog!   He said that because I’m such a good dog and am 40 pounds overweight, I get to GO on a diet!  I don’t know what a diet is but I definitely want to GO!  It’s so much fun when we GO on walks and GO on car rides!  I can’t wait to GO on a diet!  Mom said she was going to wait until today because I had 3 vaccines and she wanted to make sure I didn’t have a reaction to them.  Mom worries a lot.  But today I get to GO on a diet!  The vet said something about a can of food too!  A whole can!  I get two cans a day now and I’m going to get another one!  I’m so excited!

 

Tuesday 3/14/2017

Do you know what happened yesterday?  I didn’t GO anywhere!  Sure, I went for my daily walks.  We went a little bit farther than usual, which was grrreat!  But Mom and the vet said I was supposed to GO on a diet.  I really wanted to GO!  And do you know what else?  I think mom shorted me some food!  I know I heard the vet say something about a whole can.  I usually get two cans a day,  But when I got my last two meals of the day, they were different than usual.  There was dry kibble in dinner and it seemed like lunch was smaller than it should have been.  I have to keep an eye on this.  Maybe Mom wasn’t feeling up to it and we will get to GO on a diet tomorrow.

 

Wednesday 3/15/2017

Something is definitely wrong.  I think Mom is shorting me food!  I wonder if we are running out?  I am watching her when she fills my bowl and she’s changing things up but I KNOW it’s short!  I KNOW it is!  I think she is trying to trick me.  I am going to have to count again tomorrow.  And I still didn’t get to GO on a diet!  I wonder what’s wrong with Mom?

 

Thursday 3/16/2017

Ok.  Something is definitely wrong.  I still didn’t get to GO on a diet!  When Mom says we are going to GO somewhere, we ALWAYS GO!  Wonder why she won’t take me?  She’s still talking about it but we didn’t GO yet!  It’s been soooooo looooooong!  A whole week since the vet said I should get to GO!  I’m getting worried.  And the food situation?  It’s terrible!  I counted scoops yesterday.  I get two in the morning and a half of a can.  Mom did that right.  Then I always get two scoops and the other half of the can for lunch and another can for dinner.  She only put ONE scoop in lunch and she put one scoop and only half a can in dinner.  She’s trying to confuse me but I think it’s short something.  Either that or she’s drunk and messing up my food measurements.  Maybe that’s it.  Maybe she was drunk and had trouble counting.  It must have been a mistake.  Mom loves me more than anything.  She would never short me food on purpose.

 

Friday 3/17/2017

Mom has to be drunk.  She messed up my food AGAIN!  And we still didn’t GO on a diet.  I really want to GO!  The food situation is getting dire though.  Mom is messing it up!  She did it again.  I counted!  There was only ONE scoop of dry kibble in lunch.  There have ALWAYS been two.  Since forever.  I know she gave me one scoop of dry kibble with dinner but that’s just extra because she loves me.  She does breakfast just fine.  Two scoops of kibble and half a can.  Two.  One, two.  I watch her.  She must be getting drunk during the day and forgets how to count to two by lunchtime.  That has to be it.  If this continues, I may starve.  It’s terrible.  There is missing food throughout my day.  I am going to figure this out…