Saturday 3/25/2017
It is official. Mom is trying to starve me. She did it again yesterday. She only fed me two meals! I have been reduced to living off the scraps of a cardboard box the cats tore up. And Mom even took those right out of my mouth! Can you believe it? She took it right out of my mouth. She must really have it in for me. I don’t know what I did to deserve this. She won’t even let me have cardboard to eat. I only got four cups of dry food and one can of wet food yesterday. Absolute starvation is eminent.
Sunday 3/26/2017
Food was back to what passes for normal around here yesterday; even though Mom went out. Missing food is never normal and I’m still hungry but it seems this might be the new routine. Except on those darn Fridays when Mom has been forgetting my third meal because Grandpa says I have to be CATholic. Stupid cats. Something must be done about that. I am getting more walks, so I guess that’s a good thing. But I miss my food. And we still haven’t gotten to GO on a diet yet. I have to convince Mom to GO somewhere. It’s the only way I’m going to make up for this missing food. I continue to wake her when she is sleeping but she’s just not getting the hint. I don’t know how to make her GO somewhere so I can beg other people for treats.
Monday 3/27/2017
Ha ha! I found a plate of food that the cats that live on the porch lost! They run when I come out but it tastes like the same food I steal from the cats in the house. It was spilled all over the grass as I was walking to the back yard to go to the potty. Maybe they can help me ward off starvation by leaving food in the yard for me! Mom feeds them whenever they meow. And she would never know it was for me because they have other strays come to eat too! I will have to talk to them and see if they will help me.
Tuesday 3/28/2017
Mom gave the cats treats yesterday. She gave me a very very very small piece of beef stick. Those darn cats got gigantic handfuls of treats! It took them AGES to eat them all. (They didn’t drop a single one either. I checked.) And I only got a tiny miniscule piece of beef. It was gone in one bite. Obviously, Mom is not starving those cats. I wonder why she’s starving me? I am ever so cute! Everyone says so. And I’m hungry.
Wednesday 3/29/2017
Mom’s treats are insufficient. I finally came up with a plan yesterday. I figured out how to tell her I want to GO somewhere! I had hoped she would take me on that diet that the vet talked about because there was definitely food mentioned in that conversation. When she took me outside, I pulled her to the car and kept herding her around it. I really thought she’d get the hint and we would GO! She said I have to wait. That we will be GOing for a bath soon…and you know what that means! TREATS! And that I have a vet appointment next week. That’s good. Maybe he will remind her that we need to GO on that diet! I sure hope so because I can just taste the treats I will get when we GO on that diet!
Thursday 3/30/2017
So yesterday Mom got all excited. We were on one of our short walks and I ran! She had to trot to keep up with me. She was very happy about this for some reason. She said maybe I am finally starting to lose weight. I don’t remember losing anything. And if I did, I’m sure I could sniff it out and find it again. I have all my toys. I counted them when we got back just to make sure. I don’t want to lose anything! Losing is bad. But Mom seemed happy and we were running! But my run got interrupted by a loose doggie. Mom brought me back to the house and then she went back outside. I think she went to run with the other doggie. He was fast. I am not that fast. My knees bother me and that other doggie was much leaner than I am. I am built for cuddles and warmies. I didn’t smell the other doggie on Mom when she got back. Maybe he was too fast and didn’t want to run with a slowpoke like her. But I wasn’t very happy that my run got interrupted.
Friday 3/31/2017
Yesterday I did not run on my walk like the day before. I tracked. I sniffed and sniffed and backtracked and front tracked and sidetracked. And Mom let me! She didn’t make me stick to the path. At least that was nice of her. I was trying to find the doggie from the day before but he wasn’t around. I was also trying to find the strange smell from the night before. Mom said the cats had a visitor. I smelled their visitor all the way in the house! Mom smelled him too. She said it was a skunk and I couldn’t go out of the yard because he would spray me. Today is Friday, Mom says. I came inside from my morning pee and upset my bowl so Mom knows that I know it is empty. She better get that food in there fast. And she better not short me any. I hope there isn’t any missing food today.